Rajni Saar

• Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.

• When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.

• There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.

• Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.

• Rajnikanth can divide by zero.

• Rajinikanth can judge a book by it's cover. 

• Rajinikanth can drown a fish. 

• Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin. 

• Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs. 

• Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door. 

• Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes. 

• Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it.

• Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards. 

• The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.  
• Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain. 

• Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone. 

• Rajinikanth can make onions cry. 

• Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

• Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.

• Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice. 

• Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013. 

• Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day. 

• Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost. 

• Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano. 

• The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.

• Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club.

• Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.

• Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.

• Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth. 

• Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.

• Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.

• Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.

• Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.

• Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.

• Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good "or else". The result? Mother Teresa.

• Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.

• Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray. 

• Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.

• Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks.

• Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks. 

• Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result - He was reduced to a joke on the internet.

• Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated. 

• Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

•  Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

• Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

• Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost. 

• Rajinikant doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

• Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 18 seconds.

• Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.

• When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn't know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.

• Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.

• Rajinikanth knows what women really want.

•  Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.

• Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that's when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.

• Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon - HoneyMoon. 

• Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.

• Rajinikanth's every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog. 

• Rajinikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear. 

• Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikant”.

• There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.

• Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

• Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.

• Rajinikanth can strangle you with a CD

Laloo

• Laloo enters a shop and shouts, “Where’s my free gift with this oil?”. Shopkeeper: “Iske Saath koi Gift nahin hai, Lalooji” Laloo : Ispe likha hai CHOLESTEROL FREE “

• Once Laloo was coming out of the Airport. As there was a Huge rush, the security guard told Laloo “WAIT PLEASE”, for which Laloo replied “85 Kg” and moved on…

•  Laloo' s family planning policy : DON’T HAVE MORE THAN TWO CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR

•  At a bar in New York , the man to Laloo' s left tells the bartender, “JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE.” And the man’s companion says, “JACK DANIELS, SINGLE.” The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, “AND U sir?” Laloo replies: “LALOO YADAV, MARRIED.”

• After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides To go modeling. Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and Resting his elbows. On the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo Appears on the front page of a newspaper. Guess the caption !! ‘Laloo, third from left!’

• A reporter asked Laloo “What is the main reason for divorce?” Laloo replies “Marriage”.

• After completing a jigsaw puzzle he’d been working on for Quite sometime, Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to A friend. “It Took me only 5 months to do it,” Laloo brags. “Five months? That’s too long.” the friend exclaims. “You are a fool,” Laloo replies. “Read the box, it says “5-7 years”.